October 28, 2011

FREEZE

my sweet glowmy sweet glowmy sweet glow
How I would so love to freeze these moments that are passing by much too quickly for my taste. I had my 6 week post-partum visit yesterday and I can hardly believe that it has been 6 weeks since our lives had more of a glow. Days are brighter, albeit stressful and I feel crazy half the time, but still definitely brighter.

Often in the middle of the night, while feeding Glow, I just stare at her and wonder where time has gone. I think about the middle of the nights awake I spent with True, Brave, and even Soul and am just baffled at how easily that time has escaped me. It makes me hug Glow just a little closer and wish it would all just freeze. Also, it makes me feel really bad for all those time I have failed as a mother. Trust me, I fail daily.

I stare at Glow and I see her little legs slightly chubbier than it was 6 weeks ago and her teeny hands a little more robust than it was 6 weeks ago. I adore her and just revel at her tiny-ness trying to memorize it all in my mind because I know soon enough she will be running everywhere with her sisters and her little teeny self won't be so teeny anymore. Or maybe she will still be teeny cause all my children are, but then she will have that sass. The sass that will get her into trouble and get me into a big hissy fit. That sass.

For now though, I am memorizing her face, her little hands and feet, and most especially her scent. Oh that baby scent is absolute bliss! My heart is just in love with her, with all my girls actually, even if the big girls drive me nuts most of the time, my heart is definitely in love with them too.

25 comments:

  1. she's so cute, you guys are such an adorable family!
    :-)

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  2. i know what you mean. i think we all try to just soak up moments. they are so precious, and we all do fail as mothers. i feel like i am always striving to be better, but instead of it frustrating me, i T R Y to learn and have patience

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  3. I can so relate. I feel like I just had a baby yesterday and my youngest is almost 2. I am nervous about the times when there is no baby in the house, then what?

    i try not to think ahead and just enjoy. and I love how you said you are trying to memorize it. well said.

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  4. It is hard when you have so many so small so close to really cherish things as you do ! I have 4 children in 2 year and ten months and no wonder you are famous you are the best mommy :)

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  5. Your babies are so precious! You're so lucky to have them!

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  6. My 4th just turned 4 months old and I just wrote the same post.
    I cherish it all that much more this time around.
    She is precious.
    Love from,
    Greta

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  7. Very sweet post. And yes....I understand.

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  8. This was lovely to read. Its a sweet reminder to savor all the tiny things that may slip by when Miles is born!

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  9. i feel the same about my daughter. i just want to freeze time and capture all the moments. this morning while driving to work i was calculating in mind head the time that i really get to spend with her..and it's just not enough. if only i can stay home with her...

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  10. i say this all the time, but each and everyone of your girls is adorable. And yes, time flies so fast. My boy is almost four and it saddens me that I can no longer remember the intricacies of all his baby chub. I wish I would have frozen more of those moments.

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  11. i am expecting my 4th in january. my big ones are the same ages as yours. your posts scare me/encourage me/excite me. i'm so looking forward to meeting this baby and having a sweet little newborn again (a girl this time! after three boys!) but i'm completely terrified too!

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  12. i know how you feel!!! my 4 month old is.. well... 4 months old! i swear i just had her. i feel like I dont see her growing though because I am always with her!!! she's got lots o hair just like your little glow.

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  13. after having my 2 boys, I was amazed how much more quickly time seemed to pass. It's a whole new world, when you have children!
    -m

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  14. oh this post made me cry! they grow up so fast...

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  15. I'm always wishing to have another one, because I love babies and I see my girls growing up. Unfornately, we're done having babies. But I totally know how you feel. You're so lucky (which I'm sure you know how lucky) to have four beautiful girls!!

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  16. I so know the feeling. I really hope we will be blessed with another little baby soon. Our little girl is growing up so fast.
    I wish there was a freeze button to push sometimes. Luckely we live in this modern time, where pictures and films are easy acsessible?.. Its is in some way a little like freesing the moments..

    Enjoy your little beautiful Glow!

    And I am sure you are a good mom, doing your best. I cheer for you!

    all the best, Mumsi

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  17. Wonderful words written about your children. Love the names you have given them too. Strong and special!
    Hope you have a lovely weekend :-)

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  18. I stumbled here the other day out of nowhere, and your obvious closeness with your girls just captured me instantly. I have 3 kids, and the youngest is just 3 weeks old. I agree with you that time flies too fast sometimes, and even in between the hiccups I make with the kids, I'll always cherish their childhood most. :)

    PS: Your girls are so, so lovely!

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  19. i think these same exact thoughts every day! the time passing, the littles getting bigger, me wishing i was doing a better job. my littlest is 6 months already! i wish there was a way to make the days go a little bit slower.

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  20. I have tears in my eyes reading this post... My Boy is almost two years old. He is growing up so fast?!
    I wish there was a freeze button, too!
    We have photos and films, but it is not the same.
    Oh, I understand you so well!

    Have a nice weekend!
    Mariana

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  21. So beautiful! All of your girls are. You are right about freezing that memory, it just goes by so fast x

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  22. Oh how I miss the baby smell, the tiny hands, the cooing... My babies are growing so fast!
    Enjoy it!! you make me almost want another, almost, and if I looked like you after giving birth I'd probably would do it again :) but alas I am just going to live vicariously through you!

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  23. I remember Bela that age, precious!
    Glow is sooooooo sweet adn beautiful!

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