How I would so love to freeze these moments that are passing by much too quickly for my taste. I had my 6 week post-partum visit yesterday and I can hardly believe that it has been 6 weeks since our lives had more of a glow. Days are brighter, albeit stressful and I feel crazy half the time, but still definitely brighter.
Often in the middle of the night, while feeding Glow, I just stare at her and wonder where time has gone. I think about the middle of the nights awake I spent with True, Brave, and even Soul and am just baffled at how easily that time has escaped me. It makes me hug Glow just a little closer and wish it would all just freeze. Also, it makes me feel really bad for all those time I have failed as a mother. Trust me, I fail daily.
I stare at Glow and I see her little legs slightly chubbier than it was 6 weeks ago and her teeny hands a little more robust than it was 6 weeks ago. I adore her and just revel at her tiny-ness trying to memorize it all in my mind because I know soon enough she will be running everywhere with her sisters and her little teeny self won't be so teeny anymore. Or maybe she will still be teeny cause all my children are, but then she will have that sass. The sass that will get her into trouble and get me into a big hissy fit. That sass.
For now though, I am memorizing her face, her little hands and feet, and most especially her scent. Oh that baby scent is absolute bliss! My heart is just in love with her, with all my girls actually, even if the big girls drive me nuts most of the time, my heart is definitely in love with them too.